HOW I'M FEELING AS A COLLEGE SENIOR DURING COVID

Ah... Who else still feels like they are trapped in an alternate universe desperately trying to find a way out? That's how I feel.

This is definitely one of the most insane times in my life, surprisingly I feel as if I've dealt with worse in terms of my personal issues and mental health, but this is affecting every single one of us. Every person on Earth is affected in some way, which blows my mind. And every single persons feelings toward this situation are valid. Some are losing loved ones, some are losing jobs, and others are losing experiences.

This time has caused so much anxiety and heartbreak in my life. The unexpected has occurred and I emotionally did not know how to handle how I was feeling. I think we are all aware now that most of us are grieving, and personally, I have never grieved before. I am grieving the opportunity I prayed for years for and earned after college being cancelled. Me and every other college senior got their senior year taken from them with no questions asked. It is a strange feeling, and for a while I did not let myself be sad, but it is heartbreaking. None of us could have never imagined any of this...

I didn't get to attend my senior year formal, the spring tailgate, receive my senior superlative, celebrate accomplishments with my closest friends, have one last night singing Sweet Caroline (that we definitely wouldn't remember), late night cookout run, my final times in a classroom, one last meal in the sorority house, or visit my freshman dorm.

It may seem like nothing, but we don't get those final memories. The final memories with friends we may not see anytime soon, which is difficult to accept and understand. We are left with no closure, and constant wonder.

But now, all we have is memories. Memories to reflect on, to cherish, to share. And all we have is hope. Hope this will all end soon, and hope we will fill those voids eventually.

So, if you are a college senior, let's blast Closer by The Chainsmokers and look back on Freshman year, then Sophomore, then Junior, then Senior year...

I promise it will bring you joy during this tough time.

PS: I am going to write a whole reflection on my Carolina experience soon. ♥